Well I saw this one coming, but the pain still hurts me to my rotten core. My behavior has become what the handlers call 'unorthodox'. I cannot stand the feeling of being caged into my own soul anymore, and I've taken to a few habits that apparently are upsetting certain individuals. I like to chew high heels, I find them to be delicious and that is all I will say about that. Toilet paper is surprising good to eat before a long nap. Newspaper and important documents are also tasty.
Oh, but what's more, I have found my voice. I bark at the woman as she tries to ignore me while she plays with his crown prince. I bark at the man when he pretends I do not exist. I am Howie, hear me roar.
So, I hear rumblings that I am just 'too much', 'cannot be handled', 'disturbing the baby' and so on and so forth. So stay tuned, I see the tall one digging in the back yard, don't be surprised if I turn up 'missing'. You heard it from me first, the downfall of my existence will be no accident! Inform the authorities, but be cautious, they are sick.
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